I have to versus I choose to

I have to versus I choose to

Have you thought of the difference between saying I have to versus I choose to? Like, say you are thinking you want to live healthy and fit this week and you go out to lunch with some co-workers, do you say I have to eat this or that or do you say I am choosing to eat this or that today?

expect change

Hmmm there is a HUGE difference in the two statements.

I just read this brief post by Coach Scott Abel this morning from his facebook page and it so hit the mark on this "I have to versus I choose to" that I want to share his quote with you here:

"Willpower is the lie you've been led to believe in. But willpower is the mindset of resistance - therefore it is self-weakening and self-depleting over time. What you need to develop more intimately is self-discipline and self-control. Self-discipline and self--control are the mindset of 'choice' - not 'resistance' - Willpower keeps you on constant guard and on edge - and willpower is about the forces around you, acting "on" you. Self-control and self-discipline allows you to relax and think clearly because self-control and self-discipline are about the power within you - and you therefore act "on' your environment, not the other way around. Willpower is about circumstances - self-control and self-discipline are about character. Willpower can never lead to developing self-control and self-discipline - while developing self-control and self-discipline makes willpower a non-issue: EVER. Willpower is energy-draining. Self-control and self-discipline are self-sustaining, renewable energy resources from within you. There is no "battle" to wage when they are real. Self-control and self-discipline simply mean that when it comes to external circumstances - "no weapon formed against me shall prosper"


Thinking that when we say I HAVE TO we are working from the willpower mindset which as Coach Abel states is a self-weakening and self-depleting mindset. Instead we can approach our choices as just that OUR CHOICES and then we are working from an "I CHOOSE TO" mindset which comes from the power we have within us, our self-discipline and character.

Today as you are going about your day I want you to pay attention to where your mindset is. What are you saying to yourself? Is it 'I HAVE TO' do this or that or is it 'I CHOOSE TO' do this or that?

Then you can decide if you are working from a willpower or self-depleting, external power source or from self-discipline and self-control whereΒ  you are working from an internal and self-sustaining energy source.]

It is YOUR CHOICE - I have to versus I choose to.



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About Evey Wheeler

I'm an entrepreneur and blogging fitness pro (CPT) who promotes IDLife supplements and offers online coaching - check out my customized vitamins at www.evey.idlife.com Follow me on Google+, Facebook, or Twitter ! Find out more about Evey and how she can help you obtain your fitness goals by clicking here.


  1. Excellent post and a very interesting read. Definitely has to be ‘I choose to’. Thanks for sharing.
    Merle Gibbins recently posted…Pure Leverage W The F… [Naughty!!]My Profile

  2. As always great post and really interesting. Self resistence sounds so much better than willpower too, it also doesn’t give the impression that if you *do* fall off the wagon that you’ve failed. It’s so easy to beat yourself up for having no willpower but putting a different spin on things could help a lot.
    RACHAEL recently posted…Monday Inspiration #003: It’s OK to quitMy Profile

    • Great point Rachael and yes it is never in our best interests to beat ourselves up but instead to move on. Thanks for stopping by.

  3. My boys are always correcting me when I say I ‘have’ to do something!
    They quickly point out Mum you mean you ‘want’ to do so and so!

    They aren’t always right but if you think of tasks in that way they seem less like tasks!!

    Great post and great reminder.

    • Absolutely Lorraine, the tasks do not seem so hard if we are choosing it instead of HAVING TOO πŸ™‚ Thanks for stopping by.

  4. I am quite careful with the words that I speak. Although I usually say ‘choose to’ as it comes from my power, I suspect that ‘have to’ slips out occasionally. Love the reminder πŸ™‚
    rachel lavern recently posted…Pain and Pleasure: Two Sides of the Same CoinMy Profile

  5. Hi Evey, I really enjoyed the article and I would also have to pick the ‘I choose to’ over the ‘I have to’. You provide great value and Thanks ever so much for sharing πŸ˜‰
    Paudie Callaghan recently posted…How To Change Quickly What Your Inner Voice Is SayingMy Profile

  6. I choose to is such a powerful statement. Great post Evey.
    Helen Willsher recently posted…5 Quick Tips To Help You Blast Through The Maze Of Self DoubtMy Profile

  7. I love choices. “I choose” is such a powerful statement. I’m a bit of a rebel, so I don’t like feeling like something is required. When I have choices, I’m a much happier woman. πŸ™‚
    Keri Kight recently posted…Indecisive? Write Down What You Don’t WantMy Profile

  8. That is a very powerful perspective given by coach Abel. I can see where there will be more power in choosing to be disciplined as opposed to making yourself do things.
    In my case, I always resist the idea of having to do things whether I want to or not. Now I can see that even if it is me telling myself, I have to do this, or not do that, the response is really the same.
    I am glad I got to read and reflect on this powerful post.
    Princess Shimari recently posted…A Network Marketing Opportunity for Everyone.My Profile

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